Do’s and Don’ts from Ele’s Place Kids
DO
• Make a card for your friend
• Go to the funeral
• Ask if your friend wants to talk about the person who died
• Be a good listener when your friend talks about the loss – even if you don’t know what to say
• If you knew the person who died, talk with your friend about good memories of that person
• Invite your friend to do something fun with you
• Include your friend in activities
• Treat your friend the same as always
• Understand that your friend might have good days and bad days
• Be patient and forgiving when your friend is upset or seems different
• Ask what you can do to help
• Remember that holidays and special days might be difficult for your friend, and ask how he or she is doing
• Say, “I don’t know how you feel, but I care and I’ll try to understand.”
• Tell your friend it’s OK if he or she cries
• If you feel worried or sad about the death in your friend’s family, talk with your parent or another adult
DON’T
• Don’t tease or joke about the death or about the person who died
• Don’t ask a lot of questions
• Don’t treat your friend “special”
• Don’t change the subject if your friend wants to talk about the person who died
• Don’t say “I know how you feel.”
• Don’t make fun of your friend if he or she cries